Snowy Daydreams

The most magical day of the year occurs the moment the very first snowflake falls in the eyes of a child. Or perhaps for those of us who still feel the pull of winter with the anticipation of our inner child. In that moment a million daydreams spring to life with images of a snowman with funny shaped parts and a well-loved scarf to keep him warm. The feeling of flying as you reach maximum velocity sliding down the steepest hill known to mankind. The shimmer of snow turned to ice on a cold night that lets you open your own diamond store. The smell of exhaust mixed with cold that can only mean a great day of snowmobiling was had. Building the greatest fort ever only find that the kindergarteners ruined it at recess and stole your snow. The rush of jumping into a pile of snow and not being entirely sure of how far you will sink before you stop. Knowing that the coming of the snow means that Christmas is nearing and all the wonderful things that come with it. Family gathers, traditions are preformed, presents all around, songs to be sung, enormous trees, parades, and best of all the smell of your memérè’s cooking floating out from the kitchen.

Snow is just as important up here as the harvest season. Our economy depends of the snowmobilers who come all the way from Massachusetts and farther to sled on our trails. The local stores do great business selling warm clothing for the cold months, so good that they start in August. We have winter fun days, winter carnivals, and snowball dances at school. We teach children how to make snowflakes out of paper to encourage their creativity. We even have our own vocabulary for all things related to snow. For example, it could be light, fluffy, sticky, heavy, powder, crusted, or wet. Then when it falls it could be a dusting, flurries, snowfall, a wintery mix, a storm, a blizzard, or my favorite, a Nor’easter. Our meteorologists have to work overtime in the winter months.

Winter, and all that which it encompasses, is the most important time of the year for those of us who have grown up here in the County. Most of our year is centered around the cold and the snow, either living in it or preparing for it. It is such a large part of our lives that we even have snow days built into our school calendars, and if a year goes by without a snow day we feel righteously betrayed. I’ve seen the black and white photos of older family members cutting ice on the lake, I’ve seen the old snowshoes and skis, and I’ve heard the stories of families huddled around the woodstove for warmth and using snow to make a sugary treat. I could never imagine my life without the winter and the snow to mark the passage of time. What would children do in the winter without the snow banks constructed solely for their benefit? But best of all is seeing all the little children come in from the cold with red noses and cheeks and an enormous smile on their faces.

Too Loud

Too loud, the sounds

I can’t get out

My head, so full

Of pain and doubt

I tried to run

But just stayed stuck

My life is stalled

I’m out of luck

No place to turn

No hand to take

I can not stop

My heart will break

Family

Like a lost little kitten

You took me in

When I was alone

And needed friends

You gave me love

And showed me care

And now for you

I’ll always be there

We move along

And grow apart

But we’re always together

Within our hearts

Precious Gift

A memere’s love

Is hard to replace

A gentle hug

And a smiling face

If I could bottle it

And sell it in stores

No child would be sad

Or alone anymore

It’s a special gift

That I get you too

So this year for Christmas

I’m thankful for you

Years Behind

The thoughts swirl round

Over and over again

Finally I wonder

If this time I lost it

I can’t figure out

Why I act the way I do

My emotions are a mess

What’s wrong with me?

Pathetic is a way of being

The only way I can find

Sometimes it seems to me

Like I’ve fallen years behind

Take two steps up

Fall ten steps down

Then watch someone else

Get to wear the crown

Sometimes Another

Sometimes I laugh

When I really want to cry

Sometimes I hide

So you won’t see the lies

Everyday I wish

That tomorrow will be the one

The day its easy

When life starts being fun

Everyday a new beginning

And time heals all wounds

Such simple promises

Only made by simple people

Each platitude another lie

Another fake smile

Another false hope

Another wasted wish

Another day alone

The Magic of Migratosis

The Magic of Migratosis

A story for my little cutie, my Ian.

Howdy! My name is Ian and I have the strangest story to tell you. It all started when I was just a young thing…about six years old. I’ve learned a lot in the three months since then. See, I tried to do the right thing…I was totally innocent…but there was this bump…

CRASH!!

“Ow, ow, ow, ow!” How could he? Ryan is usually my best friend but today he pushed me down the slide when I wasn’t ready and I flew right off the end! I totally missed the landing pad and skidded right into the dirt. Now I have this giant bump on my leg and I can’t even move it. How will I ever make it back to my desk?! Wait…maybe I can make Ryan carry me.

Mrs. Reeves caught the class’s attention after lunch. “Okay, everyone, come to the carpet for story time.”

“Well I would, really, but I have this bump on my leg and I can’t possibly walk over and sit on the carpet, Mrs. Reeves.”

“Okay. I guess you can rest at your seat but I hope you will be able to make it home this afternoon,” said Mrs. Reeves.

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll be fine by then,” I told her. I didn’t want her to worry but I was sure my leg was broken.

When I finally made it home I told my mom all about the tragic bumping incident. She was not sympathetic at all. The first thing she told me to do was to get started on my homework. “Well I would, really, but I can’t possibly with this bump.”

“Well, honey, you said you hurt your leg and you only need your arm to write you know. Half hour tops and you’ll be done.” Mom just doesn’t understand bumps.

“I know it was in my leg but now it’s in my arm. It is a traveling bump. I read about it in a science book at school. I swear it’s real.”

Mom did not look particularly convinced. She had to give in though. You just can’t argue with science. Besides, my homework wasn’t that important anyway. All I had was a math worksheet and I just know I’m never going to need to know how to add when I’m grown up. Because when you turn thirteen they put a tiny calculator in your brain that does all your math work for you. Some kid on the bus told me one time.

After supper Uncle Marcus came over to watch T.V. He is totally the coolest uncle ever. After one episode of Sponge Bob I was getting a little sleepy. Then Uncle Marcus surprised me by asking if I would read him a story. “Well I would, really, but I can’t because of this bump I got today at school…” I poured out the whole story again finishing with the great betrayal of Mom expecting me to do homework when I obviously couldn’t use my arm because of the bump in my leg. Turns out, Uncle Marcus doesn’t understand bumps either. He thought that there was no reason a bump in my leg would make my head hurt. He couldn’t see that I was in terrible pain. It felt like my head was being drilled for oil.

The next day Karson, my cousin, asked me to play baseball. While we were outside playing, and I was winning, Tante Cassie came out to see what we were doing. “I thought you got a bump and couldn’t do anything, Ian?”

“Well…yeah…now it’s in my stomach. I can barely even play, honestly.” As I was talking I was holding my stomach like I was sick. I think she even believed me really. A minute later I knew she believed me.

“I think I’ll call the doctor and make you an appointment. Bumps like that can be dangerous you know.” She looked really serious as she said it…and then I really was feeling sick.

Mom brought me to the doctor the next day, it was cool because I got to miss school and everything. Dr. Forest came in without her usual smile. “You understand that this is very serious, Ian? If you really do have migratosis it is a long and difficult battle to cure it. There will be a lot of pain before the end. First we will need to start with some tests to see if that is what you have.”

“What is migratosis? I’ve never heard of that before.” I had to ask the doctor. I mean, how could I have something I’d never heard of? Just then the bump definitely moved to my heart because it felt like it stopped beating.

“Well, Ian, I’m surprised a smart boy like you has never heard of it. It is a special disease that only young boys can get. It starts with a bump in one spot and then it travels until your whole body is affected. Once everything hurts there is no longer any way to save you. So we really need to get started on these tests to make sure this is what we are dealing with before it spreads to another part of your body.” I decided at exactly that moment that I was not going to tell her that it had spread to my heart.

“Honey, why don’t you hold my hand while the doctor runs her tests. You can look at me instead of the needle.” Oh my god. I definitely felt the bump move to my eyes, as they slammed shut at the sight of that gigantic needle. I never knew they even came in sizes like that. The needle moved closer, closer, almost to my arm, then I felt a little prick….”STOP!!” My sudden scream made Dr. Forest pull back in surprise.

“But, Ian, I haven’t touched you yet. It can’t possibly hurt already.”

“Mom, you can’t do this to me. There’s nothing wrong, no bump. Really, I’m telling the truth, I just didn’t want to do my homework and then it got out of hand. And I really don’t want to have migratosis and die!” At this point I was totally panicking. Then Mom surprised me by scooping me into her arms for a hug.

“Of course you don’t have migratosis. That was just something that your Tante Cassie and I came up with to help you tell us the truth. We would rather be upset by the truth than upset because you lied to us. But, honey, if you tell us you are hurting when you aren’t we might not believe you when you do tell the truth. I’m scared that if you lie too much I may not be able to see the truth. So could you promise me that from now on you will be honest, even if you think I won’t like it?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m sorry, Mom.”

I learned four important lessons that day. First, my mom loved me no matter what, even when I did things wrong. Second, my Tante Cassie was smarter than I thought and I was going to have to work harder to trick her. Third, it’s easier to tell the truth than to try and keep a lie going. Most importantly, I never, ever want to have migratosis again.

Not Alone

I bend to the rain

And stand to the wind

With the strength of the tiger

The wisdom of the wolf

The majesty of the lion

And the grace of the horse

I run against the river

And fly through the storm

I’m tall as a tree

And hard as a stone

I face the world

But never quite alone

Heartstorm

Softly the gentlest breeze whispers

Leaving its secrets on the air

Orphans for a caring heart to hear

And an open mind to know.

It is the very breath of life for

The entire world.

And in the eerily still calm

Before the greatest storm

The world holds its breath

In fear,

In anticipation,

In awe

Of what havoc the heavens unleash

On the unsuspecting hearts and minds below.

Enough

Good enough to get approval

Bad enough to have fun

Brave enough to take a chance

Scared enough to be cautious

Strong enough to take a stand

Weak enough to need help

Wise enough to make a choice

Ignorant enough to make mistakes

Kind enough to make a difference

Reserved enough to accept

Great enough to make history

Insignificant enough to watch others

Tall enough to cast a shadow

Small enough to be humble

Generous enough to be helpful

Selfish enough to not go without

Don't Forget to Smile

The day begins, like all before

Turn on the lights, and open the door

In comes the first dollar

“Good morning”

And don’t forget to smile

A trickle of people with questions that need answers

Do you work here?

No, I just like the shirt and nametag (Smile)

Do you have that thing that…

Maybe, but how would I know? (Smile)

Do you know if you have…

Nope, it’s my first day (Smile)

Would you have another out back?

Of course, I hide things (Smile)

Hot enough for you?

No, 90 degrees feels like winter (Smile)

On and on it goes as the trickle turns to a flood

Of course I love it when children allow me to pick up toys

If only for the first twelve times

I can’t wait until they get jobs

So I can summon them with sixteen bells

And don’t forget to smile

Now its time to sweep the floor, fix the shelves, do the mopping

Where have I heard this before?

Cinderella, Cinderella…never enough time

Run to the bank and don’t forget lunch

Hurry back for phone cards and change

And don’t forget to smile

Manage to hit the floor running

Finish it all in time to count money wrong

And again until its right

Why would you think we were closing?

Did the locked door give it away?

I’m so happy to stay ten minutes past time

And don’t forget to smile

Turn off the lights and close the door

Make it to the car before you know it

You’re home and the alarm goes off

Time to start all over again

And don’t forget to smile.