When first asked to give this eulogy I was surprised, then honored, and then I was terrified. When I sat down to start writing, I had to look up how to write a eulogy. I read examples, looked at templates and searched for ideas. I tried to find jokes to throw in since Memere always had a "cute one" ready for me when I came home from school. I tried to find poetry that would work to add a professional element. Nothing seemed to fit Memere or really work. Finally it occurred to me that the best way to write this was my way. How could someone who didn't know that wonderful and strong person that she was possibly know how to write her eulogy? So I'm going to do my best and hopefully she will enjoy listening, and will forgive me for the things I leave out or forget.
Several years ago I had a conversation with Memere about her funeral. I can't remember what brought it up but we discussed that she already had everything planned out. I jokingly asked her if she would want me to write her eulogy and I made up something silly. She immediately told me that she had written her own eulogy and obituary because she couldn't trust anyone else to get everything right and remember everything she had done. And she was right, I can't remember everything. But in my defense she did about everything that was available for her to do in Van Buren. I will try to tell you all about the things I remember her doing and the things she talked about the most.
There are two things that Memere was most proud of outside of her family: her education and her work ethic. Each thing of course has a story attached. Memere told me the story of how she started school quite often. She would beg her mother to be able to go to school, promising that she would be good and not like her brother Bee (who I could only guess was the mischief maker of the family). Finally she was old enough to go to school and she was so proud that she was there and always the top of her class. On her first day of school she found herself a desk, sat down and claimed her territory. Then as soon as she was able she began to work. At a time when most women were pushed to find a husband and pop out babies, Memere went to work and learned how to be independent. She worked at a store, she worked in the potato fields, she worked as a mother, she worked at the bank, she worked at the motel, and finally she worked for the people in so many volunteer positions I have lost track.
When I moved in with Memere, back when I was still in high school, she was involved in so many organizations she had a place to be every day of the week. While I'm sure I am forgetting some, I do remember that she has been involved in the Housing Authority, Friends of the Library, the Columbiettes, the thrift shop, the mercy meals committee, the church choir, and probably 30 other things that have faded from my mind over the years. She used to tell me that she did all these things to keep her going and to be around people. She loved it so much she even got me involved helping with the thrift shop on occasion and I spent many hours volunteering at the library as well. She loved to socialize more than anyone I have ever known. We would go to lunch at Robin's and I would go sit, by myself, for at least fifteen minutes, while she went from table to table and greeted and spoke with every person in the restaurant. She was also very involved with anything connected to her Acadian heritage and was thrilled to be able to be a part of the Acadian World Congress in 2014. She loved to tell the story of Evangeline and Acadian history of the area to anyone that I brought around who wasn’t from the Valley.
Memere was so very proud of her family. She would tell anyone who would listen about her sons, her grandchildren, and eventually her great-grand children. The places of honor on the walls of her home were given to the pictures of the generations that came before and those that followed her. Baby pictures, senior portraits, wedding photos, and random snapshots showed the love she held for her family. Some of my earliest memories from childhood are the holidays we spent at her house. The smell of cooking food, the dogs running around and the mix of French and English being spoken while the adults sat around the table talking and laughing. For me those memories are what family has always been about. In those moments, those memories, the true meaning of home is shown. Going back home has always meant going to Memere's.
I believe that a person’s legacy is determined by how they affected the world and people around them. I like to think that this entire town and all of us here along with countless others, have been touched and changed by Memere allowing her to live on through all of the good that she did in her life. The world will certainly be a little darker and a little sadder for a while as we adjust to her absence. As time passes I would encourage you all to look around you and inside yourselves and see where she still lives on, in the way that she has made the world a better place for all of us to remain here, even when she could not. She instilled in me a love of volunteer work and helping others wherever I could. She taught my fiance some French and a love of Chinese macaroni salad. I see her in the way my son laughs freely and without restraint, finding the joy and humor in life, and I know that she is still here with us. She will always be here anywhere there is joy and laughter.
